"Shelter" Proves it's Time for a Jason Statham Tax

It seems like we’ve reached the point that three things are certain in life: death, taxes, and a mid-budget John Wick ripoff starring Jason Statham releasing in the first quarter of a calendar year. This is now the third year in a row that this phenomenon has taken place, and I would argue that’s three too many...

Statham's newest snooze-fest is helmed by director Ric Roman Waugh (who is already on his second film this month after Greenland: Migration). Shelter follows Michael Mason, who is forced out of exile to protect a young girl seen as collateral damage by MI6 who has become trapped on his private exile island. If that sounds nonsensical, that’s because it is. I watched all 107 minutes of the film and I’m still not entirely sure what it’s about. 

But there is one thing I am sure of: if this does not turn out to be the worst film of the year: we’ve been cursed. People I’ve said this to in person have been jokingly saying “what about Melania!?”, but for the sake of my own sanity, I won’t include propaganda pieces in my end of the year retrospective. 

From the opening scene of the film we’re graced with some of the most abysmal color grading you’ll ever find in an action film with grays highlighted by more grays, with a hint of…you guessed it: more gray. Even the ocean water that totally isn’t CGI is grey. You would think that to supplement this there would be a bit more color contrast in the costume and production designs…but you would be wrong! The film is a visually dreadful eye sore that should more than likely come with a migraine warning for those susceptible. 

Funnily enough, the one element to the film that brings any form of momentary solace to the experience is the performance by newcomer, Bodi Rae Breathnach. Child performances in movies like this don’t necessarily have the best track record in the world, but Breathnach is acting circles around everyone here, including Jason Statham who brings new meaning to the phrase “sleepwalking through a role.” If she is ever given a script that even comes close to bordering on serviceable in the future, I could see her turning in some really spectacular work.

Editor Matthew Newman, who is known for his many collaborations with Nicholas Winding Refn, deserves to be compensated for the rest of his life for the amount of work he had to do to make the most basic of shots look like they were in focus, and properly blocked. It appears throughout as if there was truly only one angle for the conversational scenes, and maybe two takes for those angles. And they’re almost all extreme close ups to hide continuity or VFX imperfections in the background. It’s actually kind of astonishing. I’ve never seen so much warp stabilizer applied in a single film before. 

It seems like ever since John Wick every action movie has to have some form of confrontation in a neon night club with electronic trap music playing in the background, and Shelter is no different. Except their definition of “neon” here is orange and…you guessed it…grey! 

Bill Nighy, Dame Harriet Walker, and Naomi Ackie seem to be acting as if they’re being held at gunpoint as they spend the entire movie screaming at some imaginary MI6 surveillance screens while Jason Statham continues to evade them. In a screening that had a lot of the general public who walked in very excited, there were howling screams of laughter and ironic applause given to more than one line delivery by Bill Nighy by the time the film was over. 

Speaking of the MI6 surveillance, there is a part of you that should be absolutely terrified that we’re now on our third studio film of the past year that revolves around some form of mass surveillance being ultimately condoned. But at the same time, I am kind of grateful that the level of craft, or lack thereof in this psychotic move of consent manufacturing is proving to be deeply ineffective to the audiences its pandering towards, and ultimately inspiring people to find something far more worth their time. Go watch Send Help this weekend. Let us let the return of a horror auteur win the box office over surveillance promotion and political propaganda.